Laughing Pass
One thing you will notice about Germans, is their lack of humour unless the German in question happens to be a topless model ..in which case you will notice two things about her. But seriously let topless models aside, ....not too far though, you will indeed find that most of the Germans tend to have a sense of humour which is so dry that you turn into fine, dehydrated, human dust by the time they get to the line ."....zo the Doktor zays " Kut it luse".......Ha ha". It is not the jokes I am talking about. Universal Jokes which are present in every language and have been around since ages. Jokes, which have the entertainment value of a root canal. Jokes, which have been permanently etched in your ear drums by repetitive hearing but at which you still laugh hard enough to dislodge your dental fillings, when your boss or customer ........or may be your parole officer cracks them. Laughter has a way of flowing towards authority. Ever wonder about, where do these jokes actually originate from. They seem to come from nowhere. I have a theory about these jokes. Guys, these are actual incidents which happen to actual people. There is actually someone out there who mistook the copier for a shredder and there is someone who peed in the Refrigerator (i.e Ravi Sisodia, from Class IV, New English school, circa 1980) . There are enough weird things happening in the world to make some of these jokes a reality. The people, to whom these things happen then start spreading it usually by saying "Here's a new one ". So the next time you hear an original joke, you know who is the original joker too.
Germans can tell these jokes as good as your average Joe but if you were to tell them to see the lighter side of life, Wolfgang or Helga will most probably bring his/her electrical Werkzeugkasten and start looking for bulbs to repair. I never saw a German sitcom or a major German newspaper that carries a regular cartoon or a humour column. When I use to tell them that I write a humour column, most people looked at me as if I told them I make candles from ear wax. i.e They had no idea how enjoyable it can be......although I must say sometimes it did take a lot of wax . Their movies too, though good are never really comedies. A film called "Goodbye Lenin" , which had a good comic plot but was really sub average as a comedy but ran to record ticket sales in Germany. If that movie was funny then I promise you, the following jokes, if cracked in a German pub would have die Bundesburgers rolling in the aisles, wetting their pants.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb ?
One
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Me
Me Who ?
Me, Johannes Widdmann
You will rarely meet the happy go lucky German who will ever air drop jokes on you like the British or the Americans or even meet a German with some joie de vivre like the Italians or our own Sardars. I had once walked in to my neighbourhood library and while looking for my account records the librarian said,
"Entschuldigung, I hav forgotten your Nam , Ya "
"Well, You are lucky I still remember it"
This was a light joke which really could not have been lost in translation but at least merited a gentle smile. But no sirreee... no smiles, no show of teeth. He just looked at me with the expression which suggested that "Hey if I wanted to have fun I would have read the Old testament in Braille". So it is this everyday lighter side of life that just don't stick on to. I know one swallow does not a summer make but if you compare it with the general scarcity of humourous movies, books, sitcoms, stand up comedians etc, you just realise that if ever Hitler had won the war, the rest of Europe would have rather swam to the Antartic with the enthusiasm of Sachin Tendulkar signing up for a surgery and survived on penguin droppings.... except for the British. They would have stayed on in England where it is just as cold and the food tastes just as well. Atleast in the poles, they could have had some humour
What do you call a happy penguin ?
Sanguine
What do they call toilet Paper in the Antartic ?
A penguin paperback
Why is the Antartic such a degenerate place ?
Every dance is a pole dance.
The possibilities just numb the mind.
I don't know the causes behind the humourlessness and I don't want to find them out either. If I do , I am certain to deprive some PhD student somewhere of a 300 page thesis titled "An examination of the psychosocial criteria influencing the lack of encrustation of general audiovisual amusement inducing laughter in contemporary Germany". But you know what, someone should write that thesis...... or else what would the Germans read to have a good time.
One thing you will notice about Germans, is their lack of humour unless the German in question happens to be a topless model ..in which case you will notice two things about her. But seriously let topless models aside, ....not too far though, you will indeed find that most of the Germans tend to have a sense of humour which is so dry that you turn into fine, dehydrated, human dust by the time they get to the line ."....zo the Doktor zays " Kut it luse".......Ha ha". It is not the jokes I am talking about. Universal Jokes which are present in every language and have been around since ages. Jokes, which have the entertainment value of a root canal. Jokes, which have been permanently etched in your ear drums by repetitive hearing but at which you still laugh hard enough to dislodge your dental fillings, when your boss or customer ........or may be your parole officer cracks them. Laughter has a way of flowing towards authority. Ever wonder about, where do these jokes actually originate from. They seem to come from nowhere. I have a theory about these jokes. Guys, these are actual incidents which happen to actual people. There is actually someone out there who mistook the copier for a shredder and there is someone who peed in the Refrigerator (i.e Ravi Sisodia, from Class IV, New English school, circa 1980) . There are enough weird things happening in the world to make some of these jokes a reality. The people, to whom these things happen then start spreading it usually by saying "Here's a new one ". So the next time you hear an original joke, you know who is the original joker too.
Germans can tell these jokes as good as your average Joe but if you were to tell them to see the lighter side of life, Wolfgang or Helga will most probably bring his/her electrical Werkzeugkasten and start looking for bulbs to repair. I never saw a German sitcom or a major German newspaper that carries a regular cartoon or a humour column. When I use to tell them that I write a humour column, most people looked at me as if I told them I make candles from ear wax. i.e They had no idea how enjoyable it can be......although I must say sometimes it did take a lot of wax . Their movies too, though good are never really comedies. A film called "Goodbye Lenin" , which had a good comic plot but was really sub average as a comedy but ran to record ticket sales in Germany. If that movie was funny then I promise you, the following jokes, if cracked in a German pub would have die Bundesburgers rolling in the aisles, wetting their pants.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb ?
One
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Me
Me Who ?
Me, Johannes Widdmann
You will rarely meet the happy go lucky German who will ever air drop jokes on you like the British or the Americans or even meet a German with some joie de vivre like the Italians or our own Sardars. I had once walked in to my neighbourhood library and while looking for my account records the librarian said,
"Entschuldigung, I hav forgotten your Nam , Ya "
"Well, You are lucky I still remember it"
This was a light joke which really could not have been lost in translation but at least merited a gentle smile. But no sirreee... no smiles, no show of teeth. He just looked at me with the expression which suggested that "Hey if I wanted to have fun I would have read the Old testament in Braille". So it is this everyday lighter side of life that just don't stick on to. I know one swallow does not a summer make but if you compare it with the general scarcity of humourous movies, books, sitcoms, stand up comedians etc, you just realise that if ever Hitler had won the war, the rest of Europe would have rather swam to the Antartic with the enthusiasm of Sachin Tendulkar signing up for a surgery and survived on penguin droppings.... except for the British. They would have stayed on in England where it is just as cold and the food tastes just as well. Atleast in the poles, they could have had some humour
What do you call a happy penguin ?
Sanguine
What do they call toilet Paper in the Antartic ?
A penguin paperback
Why is the Antartic such a degenerate place ?
Every dance is a pole dance.
The possibilities just numb the mind.
I don't know the causes behind the humourlessness and I don't want to find them out either. If I do , I am certain to deprive some PhD student somewhere of a 300 page thesis titled "An examination of the psychosocial criteria influencing the lack of encrustation of general audiovisual amusement inducing laughter in contemporary Germany". But you know what, someone should write that thesis...... or else what would the Germans read to have a good time.
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