The Host Who Mocks
There is a reason men are men and women are women except may be in Bangkok where the men are actually women who are actually men. Whether God created Eve from Adam`s rib will always be a ..well...bone of contention. For it indeed were so, then women should have atleast had a sense of humerus. But men are differrent and in fact according to many articles in Cosmopolitan are no differrent than dogs. In fact so much so that most men when mediacally indisposed, visit vets. Take the example of playing hosts.

Just take a look at the scene when you have guests over. I always thought guests to be rational human beings who will drink when thirsty, eat when hungry and will casually but discreetly hide the shards when they break the hosts expensive crystal (NOTE: Crystal is basically defined by wives as glass that can only be seen by husbands through heavily locked showcases but can be freely abused by guests). So when guests come over , I am perfectly comfortable to lie back and engage them in light banter where as my wife will barbeque me with her glares ,

a) For not having asked the guests for a refill
b) For not having insisted them on repeat helpings during dinner till the point they reach the size of Adnan Sami
c) For not having provided them with tissues (also called as serviettes by the same people who call glass as crystal)
d) For having smudged the centre table glass top
e) For having failed to arrange the newspapers in a chronological sequence
f) For having all my finger nails of unequal length etc

This is where guys are so gifted. I remember in my bachelor days when we used to have "guests" over, we did not even know their names which did not really matter as long as they could tell dirty jokes

"Hey, is that friend of yours with Bad breath (hereforth always called as Vasu by us) going to bring the Beer "?

"Yep and POM (short for Pile on Master) is going to take care of the Pizzas"

"POM is actually buying Pizzas !!!"

"Naahh.. he has a 20 % discount coupon which he will claim as his contribution to the dutch Pizza
fund "

But there is something about a marriage that takes the above experience and pushes it into a parallel universe where out go the newspapers and in come something called as coasters and you actually use napkins instead of the front of your trousers. The Dr Bruce Banner of the carefree unmarried host morphs into the terrifying hulk of the married host. There is no point in trying to convince the wives to take things a bit lightly because most wives that I know just happen to be women.

I cannot imagine any women having a party together where the discussions can get passionate over the claim that a perfectly vertical egg can bear an elephant's weight (a fact which was pooh poohed and also scientifically disproved by Darshan Singh by making me hold the egg vertical , while he placed an extremely heavy object i.e. Kenneth Tan on top of it). The subject was more important and not whether the guest had his plastic glass refilled or whether the the host has worn a mismatched pair of shirts and shorts. You could pretty much eat food making noises like an airplane toilet flush and no one would even notice. But with women coming into the picture, all the gaiety goes out of the window and you are reduced to eating your dinner with the trepidation of a kangaroo going through a minefield. That is the problem with women.

If women were to lighten up just a wee bit then they would know how to balance 16 dinner plates on top of each other in the sink for a week before they gather enough lifeforms to qualify for a Union territory status. They would also know that cigarette butts lying around actually prevents cockroaches from entering your house, (so what if you have to leave them smouldering). But this fact is lost on the wives is for the simple reason, that guys have the double helix DNA where as women have their DNA lying in ironed out, parallel strands with carefully matched pairs of amino acids (Cytosine goes very well with Guanine ).
So all those bethrothed bachelors out there, my advise is just have a freak out night at bachelor`s party and make sure POM pays for the Pizzas.